A man whose attire—shorts, white socks, and nothing else—suggested that he was very, very intoxicated was arrested last week for trying to steal candy from a Subway restaurant in Maryland. 

WUSA 9 reports that James Dean Wirick, 50, was arrested at the Prince Frederick, Md. location on Friday afternoon after a Calvert County deputy witnessed the Lusby, Md. native slide the candy into his pocket. 

Wirick was taken into custody and charged with theft of under $100 and disorderly conduct. He further complicated his situation (i.e., a charge for destruction of property less than $1,000) when arriving at the detention facility by ripping a phone out of a wall.

[via WUSA 9]

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