Gavin McInnes of How to Fight a Baby fame recently teamed up with Vans' OffTheWall.TV to create a video series entitled How to Do Everything in the World. You may find yourself saying, “That’s a lot to cover,” but never fear, because the self-proclaimed "Godfather of Hipsterdom" and creative director at Rooster has brought you the only five guides you will ever need to make it through life as we know it. In the fourth video, featured above, Gavin teaches us all how to fly. In an exclusive interview, we spoke with the comedian to find out what exactly his issues are with other passengers, and how we can bribe flight attendants into giving us more for our money.
Interview by Rob Gearity (@Grobbington)
Why this How-To? Do you do a lot of flying and that’s why it was so relevant to you?
Yes, I do. And it’s gotten so much worse even in the past five years. With the pajamas and the putting the seat back and twentysomethings just lying down at the gates sprawled out on the floor like it’s a sleepover. Maybe it’s 'cause flying has gotten cheaper…but it’s gotten worse. And it’s not just young people; it’s grown men wearing pajamas.
What is your go-to flying outfit?
If you wear a suit on a flight, the attendants are so thrilled that you aren’t treating their work like a pajama party. Any collared shirt will do, as it makes your whole flight totally different. And if you’re getting drunk, they are a lot more tolerant of you when you look decent. Maybe they think you’re a lawyer or something.
Have you ever actually pushed someone’s reclined chair back up?
Yes, yes I have. And my dad, he taught me that thing about pretending to sleep and putting your knees up, but it takes an hour before they will give up. If it’s a long flight and you’re six feet tall, it’s worth it to put your knees up. So basically, I think that all people who put their chair back should be thrown out of the plane.
Any suggestions on how to get the best seat for your money?
Yeah, it’s called bribery. They technically have a policy where you’re not supposed to take tips but there’s nothing wrong with it. There’s no rule that they can’t. So what you do is crumple up a twenty and put it in your hand and then say, ‘Hi, if I can give any help today…’ Actually, you don’t have to say anything at all. After they get that twenty, you will get to sit wherever you want (regardless of there being an issue), you will get unlimited drinks, and they will even swipe their card so you don’t have to pay for movies.
Worst flight experience you’ve ever had?
One time we were going to Costa Rica during rainy season and the plane couldn’t land because it was raining too hard. It was thundering and lightning and the pilot would go down to the tarmac and then he’d go, ‘Nope can’t do it,’ and go back up again. He would circle around and try again. He did this three times and then said, ‘We’re going to have to go to Panama or some other nearby airport. I’m just concerned about fuel.’ He’s saying this, by the way, over the speakers. And the weird part about that was that some people were laughing.
Complex will continue getting the inside story on each of Gavin’s insanely accurate and funny life guides, including How to Drink in a Bar, How to Fight, and How to Meet Women. Make sure to check back for exclusive behind-the-scenes coverage, photos and, of course, more interviews with the originator himself.