Inspired by this True Detective/Family Circus mash-up, we decided that Bil Keane's wholesomely saccharine comic strip could do with some punching up.

Video games have some of the most memorably obscene and gratifyingly succinct scripts ever written. A quote could be plucked from any video game of the last decade would give you a gem of scriptwriting and dialogue.

Even Ride to Hell: Retribution had its moments of sublime stupidity. Take any of those quotes, apply them to Bill Keane's work, and behold something infinitely more enjoyable than the sum of its parts.

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