Authorities in Montana say a desperate man licked a cop's eyeball while resisting arrest over the weekend.
The Smoking Gun reports that Christopher Nicholas Hiatt, 34, called 911 on Saturday evening to report a theft. Police met Hiatt in front of Pisser's Palace (best bar name ever) in Walkerville, Mont., but quickly learned that he had an outstanding warrant, so they tried to arrest him.
As they attempted to shove him into a police car, he made things so much worse for himself by licking one of their eyeballs. Yes, it's a disorienting move, but it's sure to piss the cop—who already had to be pissed off about exerting that much effort to arrest someone—even more.
Hiatt was ultimately charged with assault on a peace officer (a felony, by the way) and assault with bodily fluid, which just sounds vile.