Played by: Owen Wilson

An idea man, you are frenetic and always pulsating with ideas. However, your lack of impulse control makes your ambitions a bubbling cocktail of bad decisions. Lucky for you, you're a talker so you will never go it alone on any of your genius schemes. You convinced some of your friends to go streaking in college, on the first day of classes. Those are some Jackass-sized cojones you own.

You're so crazy that it's almost disarming. You also tend to give countless people remarkably fantastic stories they can tell for the rest of their lives. But as grateful as they'd like to be for that, they'll never forgive you for that grand larceny charge permanently on their records. Turns out, your school's dean did notice the founder's statue was gone and you forgot the little detail of not getting caught on camera.