Admit it, you’re all about pizza for lunch today.
The millions of other people who watched the 86th Academy Awards last night are right there with you. Once again proving why she’s your favorite actor’s favorite host, Ellen Degeneres killed at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angeles, cleverly interacting with the audience of Hollywood A-listers throughout the ceremony. The Oscars, for once, really felt like a party, one complete with delicious pizza for all in attendance, hilarious teleprompter fails, Liza Minnelli looking like she was transported in from another dimension, Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o’s now-infamous brother, and Amy Adams’ surprisingly sensual dance moves.
The awards themselves were, in another Oscar anomaly, all agreeable. Hurray for 12 Years a Slave winning Best Picture! Bravo to that movie’s heartbreaking Nyong’o beating previous victor Jennifer Lawrence for Best Supporting Actress! Thank heavens American Hustle was shutout! All hail the almighty master public speaker Matthew McConaughey for winning his first-ever Best Actor statue! (And sorry, Leonardo DiCaprio—hopefully you were able to drunk-dial a couple supermodels last night for a little sorrow-drowning menage.) And congratulations, Jesus!
As for the broadcast’s best non-statue moments, here are all the awards that should’ve been given out at last night’s Oscars. Pizza not included.
RELATED:Â The Awards That Should've Been Given Out at the 2014 Golden Globes
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Best Signature Shtick: Jennifer Lawrence Tripping All the Time
Best Impression That People Mistakenly Thought Was of the Grinch: Jim Carrey's spot-on Bruce Dern impersonation
The Best (and Most Unexpected) White-Girl-in-a-Nightclub Dance Moves: Amy Adams During Pharrell's Performance
Worst Post-Botox Appearance: Kim Novak
The "Who Let Him in Here?" Award: Zac Efron on the Oscar stage
Best "OK, Um, That Was Weird" Moment: The Acceptance Speech for Best Documentary Winner 20 Feet From Stardom
Worst "I Want to Look Like Jared Leto" Hairdo: Ewan McGregor
Best "Coke Dealer From the '80s" Outfit: Ellen Degeneres in All-White
The Greatest Photo-Bomb Ever: Lupita Nyong'o's brother, the guy in the bottom right corner
The "Why is She Touching Me?" Award: Lupita Nyong'o Getting Accosted By Liza Minnelli On Her Way to Accept the Best Supporting Actress Award
Best Reminder That Bill Murray is Still the Coolest: His Shout-Out to Harold Ramis While Presenting the Best Cinematographer Award
The Most Unintelligible Misidentification: John Travolta Calling Idina Menzel Something That Kind of Sounded Like "Adele Dazim"
