Why doesn't this sport exist yet?

Who on the  International Olympic Committee do we need to bear hug to allow the use of projectile weaponry to be included in competition? Sure the Sochi games have finally come to a close, but there's a strong argument to be made to allow all Olympic sports the use of both banana peels and blue turtle shells to derail their opponents.

Olympic speed skating x Mario Kart is a game Nintendo needs to get lined up on the Wii U ASAP.

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