It's undeniable: Schmidt is the most lovable douchebag on network television. New Girl's resident rich kid, played by Max Greenfield, can't help it. He grew up enjoying the finer things in life and went from fatty to hottie in matter of years. He's got a reputation to protect.

But that doesn't mean he doesn't have a heart. If he didn't, his BFF Nick Miller (Jake Johnson) would be living on the streets and his ex-boo Cece (Hannah Simone) wouldn't have forgiven him for two-timing her. Schmidt's a supportive friend and world class lover with too much love to give, who just can't help but have high standards when it comes to his way of life. 

And those high standards lend itself extremely well to some of the most hilarious lines ever uttered on the FOX sitcom. These are some of Schmidt's bougiest moments on New Girl (set to photos of the Dust Bowl, because why not).

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