It's awards season and the nominations for every major award show besides the Oscars—Independent Spirit Awards, SAG Awards, the Golden Globes, and the Grammys—have been announced. Unsurprisingly, they're just lists upon lists of the usual suspects and boring old categories. And yes, Meryl Streep is nominated at least once. 

It's time to make room for the categories that aren't broadcast on national television, let alone necessitate red carpet treatment. Categories, for instance, like "Best Use of the Word Masturbate on Twitter." This is to honor all the people that have gone viral, all the people that've fucked shit up, and all the things you were too afraid to say out loud. Let's go.

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