Broham; women are like, hot, right? All over the fuckin' place. In your face with their curvaceous features just waiting to be devoured. Got you all flustered in person, so you can't really do anything but fiddle with your belt line and look at them like you're Hannibal Lecter and she's a fresh piece of white male between the ages of 25 and 45. Well, guess what? You don't have to go through the non-gregarious song and dance anymore because now we have the Internet. And the Internet has social media where every-fucking-body is as awkward as you.
But it's still hard out here for a pimp, or at least someone who would like to be one. So clever tactics to try and coerce a woman to lay with you on your Ralph Lauren Polo bear sheets is only plausible through social media. Your thirst cannot be visible through your facial expressions. They can only be hinted at through your likes, favorites, retweets and comments. Force her hand to satiate that. Peep #Thirstology: A 10 Step Guide to Picking Up Women on Social Media.
BROSEPH MONTANA lives on the Internet and is an expert in all things cultured. He was formerly Kanye West's speechwriter. Consider yourself fortunate to be in his presence.
Follow and unfollow her multiple times.
Favorite her tweets, but don't retweet.
Don't be stingy with them emojis.
Like all of her Instagram photos.
Poke her on Facebook, followed by a message that says "Sup, girl"
DM her the selfie you took at the gym right after working out.
Make sure your bio is extra swaggy with descriptions like, "a lover not a fighter" " YOLO" and "Started from the bottom now I'm here"
TWEET HER IN ALL CAPS SO SHE KNOWS IT'S REAL.
Come to her defense in Instagram comments.
When in doubt, DM them a dick pic.
