Since Media Take Out's launch in 2006, the popular blog-style gossip site has been loved and loathed by men and women alike. Headed by Fred Mwangaguhunga, a lawyer-turned-entrepreneur ("opportunist" might be a better word, depending on who you ask), MTO has made a name for itself by dishing ridiculous dirt on black celebrities. Beyonce. Kanye West. LeBron James. Lil Wayne. Even President Obama has had the MTO treatment. As one of the biggest urban websites in the world, MTO reports over 16 million pages views a month.

How does MTO garner so many clicks? The most fascinating aspect about the online gabfest is its unique approach to crafting headlines. Never before has a web entity appropriated such a distinct style and voice. "MTO writers," wrote GQ of the site recently, "are virtuosos of the caps-lock button, geniuses of ellipses, masters of the end-parenthetical." And it's true. Composing MTO headlines is art.

All that said, we were curious: What if a paper like, say, The New York Times, refashioned its headlines in Media Take Out style? So, we gathered a group of Complex editors, picked 14 major news events that the Times covered during the MTO Era (2006-present), and remixed the headlines to mimic Media Take Out's eye-popping terminology. Forget what you've read (and heard) up until now, because this is all the news that's fit to print.

A special thanks to Angel Diaz, Heather Haynes, Julian Patterson, Ross Scarano, Jason Duiane Hahn, Donnie Kwak, and Jack Erwin for helping with headline selection.

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