"Jonah's actually started to move away from comedy. It happens five minutes into his movie The Sitter."

"A lot of people are live-tweeting the event tonight. Speaking of 140 characters nobody gives a shit about, Bill Hader is here."

"Nick Kroll's the scary Jewish face Mel Gibson runs away from in his dreams every night."

"Franco, you look like you're asleep. Did you just read a James Franco book?"

"James is famous for playing James Dean, which makes sense since they both sucked some dicks and made three good movies."

"Look at me doing all the talking while you sit there and do nothing. I feel like I'm co-hosting the Oscars with you."

"In this world, there can only be one James Franco, because if there were two James Francos, they would never stop butt-fucking each other."