Here's a fun story for you all: I just watched an entire hour of Kris Jenner's new talk show, Kris, because Kim Kardashian posted on her Instagram that she would be making a "surprise" appearance on the show. Seeing as this would be Kim's first post-baby appearance, it could potentially be a big deal—so I felt it important to tune in. In the name of journalism, I thought. It can't be that bad, I thought.

I was wrong. Diddy co-hosted the show and revealed that he dresses up as the Easter Bunny for his kids, but even that couldn't save the lameness that followed. The show started off with a tiny interview with Ciara, but that mostly featured Kris talking about Kim and Ciara being friends, how much fun they had when she saw a show of hers in London, and how restaurants in the UK stay open late if Kim Kardashian and Ciara want to dine there. There was a dance-off judged solely by Kris, then she did a mini-workout, and there was a children's fashion show featuring eight-year-olds wearing True Religion jeans and sweaters by Marc Jacobs. Kim Kardashian must be appearing soon, I thought. Help me, I thought.

SHE DIDN'T. So, I watched the full hour of Kris, and all I got was a stupid 30-second clip of Kim Kardashian apologizing for not being there in person because she's "loving life at home too much right now"—but she watches the show every day and believes Kris is "born to do this." I will never get this hour of my life back.

In short: Kim Kardashian didn't make her first post-baby appearance today, she loves her life right now, and I hate mine.