The Best Things to Do on the Internet This Weekend

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Let's be honest: R. Kelly makes everything better, and his remix of Phoenix's "Trying to Be Cool" is no exception. In this R&B-meets-French-synthpop combination, Kels adds his own unique Auto-Tuned twist to Phoenix's second single from their latest album, Bankrupt!. The result is a bubbly, fast-driving tune perfect for anyone trying to get their night moves going. Listen to it on Pitchfork.

Dave Chappelle's lengthy hiatus from the public eye appears to be coming to an end. But what are we to expect from the once-adored comedian's return after so much time away from the spotlight? Apparently, something different, but also something still very funny. Jason Zinoman examines the new Dave Chappelle for the New York Times, showing us an older, mature, and perhaps more existentially-concerned version of the former sketch comedy superstar. Are you excited to watch his comeback? Will he ever be able to give as a moment as great as Prince schooling Charlie Murphy in one-on-one? We can only wait (and hope) and see.

If you're going to be one of those people who sexts, at least do it the right way. Not sure how? Phoenix Phillips of City Guide is here to help, laying out the 10 Rules to Remember While Sexting to keep you from coming off as creepy, too thirsty, or just plain rude. Always remember to practice safe sexting, everyone.

Thought Catalog does us all a favor by putting together a hilarious collection of all the people who were ever unaware of the Onion's satirical leanings. Endless amounts of kudos to the article's author, Hudson Hongo. He's doing God's work here, people. Read it now.

Captain Murphy (aka Flying Lotus), Viktor Vaughn (aka DOOM), Earl and Thundercat recently came together to drop a new track for the Adult Swim Singles Series, "Between Villains." Given the sonic similarities that all these artists share, the grouping comes together about as well as you'd expect, smashing dense verbal abstractions against one another over a beat so dark and dreamy that feels like it's sleep-walking. Listen to it now on Pigeons & Planes. 

Here's a fun fact: Steve Wozniak, the co-founder of Apple, doesn't even have broadband internet at his house. Well, we certainly didn't see that one coming. Learn that and more about the Woz in his interview with Vulture, conducted this week in the lead-up to the upcoming Steve Jobs biopic, Jobs. Acting as Jobs' counterpart for much of Apple's early stages, Wozniak served as a crucial foil to the brilliant, but slightly sociopathic, Jobs, forming a duo that laid out the blueprint for one of the most successful tech companies ever.

This week, Four Pins writer, Jon Moy, asks us: "Want to become a celebrity known more for an idiosyncratic affectation than for your talent or lack thereof?" Don't we all, Jon? To give you an idea of how to get there, his article takes a look at the most iconic celebrity accessories ever, ranging from Michael Jackson's sequined glove to Batman's utility belt. What will you be rocking when you finally become a star? Read the piece here.