For those of you unfamiliar with The Bachelorette, it's a shows that pits 25 steroid-addled, v-neck enthusiasts against one another in a competition for love. That's right. If an aspiring musician wins American Idol, that person gets a record deal. If an outdoorsman is tops on Survivor, that person gets a million bucks. But if you're just some pathetic dude with mom issues and you get that final rose, your prize is proposing to a woman you barely know. Naturally, this show attracts guys who collect restraining orders like parking tickets. From grown men tattling on other grown men to rapping with Soulja Boy, these are 10 Absurdly Pathetic Moments from The Bachelorette Season Nine.

Written by Sean Evans (@seanseaevans)

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