Each week, True Blood promises excess. How many werewolves can bone at once, and is it nicer with fur or without? How hard do vampire fangs get when a faerie walks into a room? These are the kinds of questions prompted by the show. As a way to recap the series, which we're getting a little bored with, to be totes honest, we'll be ranking the nudity in terms of gratuitousness.

On last night's True Blood, an episode I'll always think of as "Eric's Date with the Governor's Daughter," there was very little sexy sex. True, Eric did insert a digit into the Governor of Lousiana's daughter, but his heart wasn't in it, and the camera didn't linger. She tried to get him to open up during their daytime dirt nap, but still Eric wouldn't budge. Maybe next time, boys and girls who don't masturbate with the help of the Internet.

As far as nudity goes, viewers were treated to a little skin during a violent shifter encounter. Alcide's pecs blew some hair back, and there was a random extra in the background with a shirt or bra. That's it. What's this show about, again?

Sex and Nudity Evaluation: One grandmother saying "Oh my stars" out of eleven grandmothers.

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