Drunkard of the year: Oakland Raiders wide receiver Jacoby Ford, even though he ducked DUI charges following March arrest
Registered meth labs: 1
Total strip clubs: 1
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so Far): A man not wanted for anything was on the Oakland Police Department's Most Wanted list for months
Number of IHOPs: 0

Oakland may not be the scourge of the U.S. due to a healthy art scene, but it was ratchet before ratchet entered the general public's lexicon. Then again, this is the same city that produced Too Short years ago and the White Girl Mob recently. (They really embrace the concept of ratchet in the Bay; it's scary.) Bay Area residents are proud, but that doesn't excuse the fuckery that constantly emerges from the city of Oakland. Law enforcement complications got so bad earlier this year that newly appointed police chief Anthony Toribio stepped down after a two grueling days on the job. Previously the deputy police chief, Toribio filled the vacany left by former police chief Howard Jordan-for as long as he could stomach it. That turned out to be all of 48 hours. Law enforcement in the city are either too inept or overmatched to deal with crime, but then again, when you have double murders occurring at Wingstop, it puts things in perspective.

Somewhere along the line, Oakland jumped the hyphy shark and graduated to full-on ratchet. The end of that downward spiral was a sad, sad day.