Drunkard of the year: Two sisters arrested for DUI at the same time
Registered meth labs: 1
Total strip clubs: 25
Most ratchet moment of 2013 (so far): Prostitutes beat an innocent woman down after mistaking her for a rival
Number of IHOPs: 6
As a whole, Florida might be the most twisted state in the U.S. Sure, the Heat won their second straight NBA Championship in June, but shit is far from sweet in Miami. First off, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration predicts that rising sea levels will turn the city into a new underwater treasure within the next 100 years. It's also the leading location for ATF sting operations, where undercover agents dupe criminals into hatching detailed plans to rob non-existant stash houses before arresting them. The city can thank the Cocaine Cowboys days when Griselda Blanco had almost everyone shook for establishing this history of violence. If none of that concerns you, how about Miami becoming the first city to be charged with fraud by the SEC for lying about its financial state? Amazingly, this was the second time the city has been reprimanded for similar activities in the past decade.
Last year, the Miami Police Department made 724 arrests for DUI and 479 for prostitution, per the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. But who cares about appropriate behavior and good taste when you can make the simple journey to South Beach or go to Art Basel? At least, that's what visitors tell themselves.