There's something about a khaki and polo combination that turns even the most delightful of people into instant douchebags. From Best Buy employees to dads on the golf course, and every high school football coach in between, pleats and a tuck-in are guaranteed to turn otherwise pleasant people into total cornballs.

The campus tour guide pounds a four-pack of Red Bull and tries to sell the college experience with scripted saccharine and hackneyed punchlines. After some lame team building activities and a few made up stories about campus life, you'll have a totally superficial idea of what it means to be a Spartan or a Wildcat or whatever strange animal is your prospective school's mascot.