Ah, the theatre. And yes, all of you unwashed masses of business and marketing majors, we do spell it the British way with an "re" at the end. Theatre majors are the future administrative assistants of America. Fresh off the leading role in their local high school's production of Oklahoma, America's future colonial reenactors head off to college with a song in their heart and their best black turtleneck on their back. Soon enough, they realize that the majority of working actors in Hollywood were forced into the profession at a young age by insane mothers, and their chances are even slimmer than they imagined. This gives way to discussion of a "fall back" plan right around the end of sophomore year. What these now-jaded students haven't realized is that theatre departments depend on indentured servitude to put up their half-assed black box productions. Even the most prestigious schools will force you to be on stage crew and build sets when you aren't acting, in addition to actually going to class. This means that you will be working eighty hours a week while the future CEOs of America are drinking from a human beer luge comprised entirely of the torsos of nubile freshman sorority girls.

We hope it is worth it when you finally get to don a pair of tights for that leading role in a restoration drama you land out of pity senior year.