Game: God of War
Who'd Appreciate It?: His wife, if she were still alive. Heyoooo!

The Ghost of Sparta's in great shape, being the God of War now and all, and those "special" minigames with all the beautiful women he comes across in-game certainly aren't triggered because of his gorgeous personality (which doesn't exist.) There's a reason he's barely clothed, and that's because he subscribes to the RPG school of armor effectiveness for women. Er, we mean because Kratos got back. Seriously.