In his big, very enjoyable comeback action flick, The Last Stand (in theaters today), Arnold Schwarzenegger drops a few choice lines of dialogue that'll surely elicit cheers and laughs from audiences. The thing is, if the statements had been voiced by any other 65-year-old actors, they'd be throwaways. After he smashes through a diner's window, he responds to an inquiry about his physical condition with, simply, "Old." Earlier, ending a tense phone conversation with an FBI agent (played by Forest Whitaker), Schwarzenegger defiantly says, "I don't know you, and I don't answer to you!" And during the film's entertainingly chaotic climax, he follows up a bullet sent to a bad guy's forehead with, "I'm the sheriff."

Again, those quotes aren't much on their own, but when delivered by Mr. Schwarzenegger, they're scene-stealers. Anyone who's ever seen a classic Arnold action movie should know why: Due to his never-disappearing Austrian accent, the man who'll forever be known as The Terminator has a knack for saying both routine and witty things with a certain kind of unintentional hilarity. His quotables aren't limited to blockbuster films, though. Any time there's a microphone nearby, whether it's during a random, sexually charged vacation in Brazil or the Republican National Convention, Schwarzenegger's monologues and verbal efforts are never less than endearingly awkward.

With this weekend's debut of The Last Stand, it's as good a time as any to giggle your way through some of the actor-turned-politician-turned-actor's most unforgettable utterances. So sit back, get those clicking fingers ready, and bask in the semi-audibleness of The Arnold Schwarzenegger Soundboard.

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