Celebrity: Wayne LaPierre

In the wake of the senseless shooting in Newtown, CT, the entire world wanted answers as to how something like this could ever happen. Unfortunately, Wayne LaPierre, Executive Vice President of the NRA, was one of the first to offer his opinion on how to stop mass shootings in one of the most surreal press conferences we have ever seen.

His solution was simple: If you want to protects schools from mass killings at the hands of armed psychopaths, you have to have armed adults on hand at all times to mow them down. In the NRA's perfect world, security guards would monitor hallways all day with the best weaponry. Pistols and machine guns would quickly become as much of a fixture in our educational system as chalkboards and Taco Tuesdays.

Grammar school and high school are anxious enough for students. Kids certainly don't need to know that they have guns in their hallways at all times. If we're unfortunate enough to hear from LaPierre in 2013, we think his resolution should be to not talk about his gun-filled utopia anymore. We're tired of making sure our passports are still valid in a panic every time he takes the podium. —Jason Serafino