The game actually lets you choose who to throw the ball at, and I chose the announcer, naturally. But before Booker can land the throw, he's recognized as the False Shepherd (should have bought some gloves, bro) and he finds himself in a scrap with the local police. Things escalate quickly, and before you know it you're scrounging for ammo and racking up quite a body count.

After a lengthy series of conflicts, you'll elude the authorities and continue on your way to Monument Island, where you were told the damsel is being kept. But to get there you cut through a foreboding looking building that belongs to the Fraternal Order of the Raven. And if you were hoping they were Columbia's version of the underground railroad, you're going to be disappointed. They're more like the KKK.

They've got a statue of John Wilkes freaking Booth in the lobby, with portraits of Abe Lincoln with devil horns poking through his brow. It's some seriously creepy shit. Making your way up through the tower (and killing every fucker in there, of course), you'll come to a locked door that you can only open a crack. On the other side is a man getting literally torn apart by black birds—it's brutal. When you break through, a hooded figure with a coffin strapped to his back is walking nonchalantly away. Naturally, a boss fight with this teleporting enemy ensues, but it's nothing Booker can't handle.