Director: Stanley Donan
Stars: Michael Caine, Joseph Bologna, Valerie Harper, Michelle Johnson, Demi Moore
Lame Love Song: "Alone with Me," Lisa Roberts
Love Conquers: Pedophilia

For his last film, Singin' in the Rain director Stanley Donen opted to take on the light-hearted issue of pedophilia. The pedophilia is justified though, because, dude, Michelle Johnson's character really wants it from Michael Caine's character, Matthew Hollis.

But, wait, she is the teenage daughter of his best friend. Don't worry though, 'cause the friend has been banging Matthew's wife, so it's cool. But, then Caine's daughter tries to commit suicide by ODing on birth control pills... Yeah, kind of hard to explain that one away.

We should have known how this one was going to go, you see we didn't tell you who plays Caine's daughter—none other than Demi Moore, who used to be married to...Ashton Kutcher!

*In Capt. Kirk voice* Asssssshhhhhttoooonnnnnn! His spectre even looms over awful romcoms of the past.