If a woman catches you inside an Anthropologie or Madewell, she’ll assume you’re there shopping for a family member, possibly a girlfriend. In a glance: you scrunch your face as you deliberate between a skirt with a knife pleat and a dress with a box pleat. What are these things? What do these words mean? You use your lack of sartorial know-how to segue into a conversation with the well-dressed shopper two racks away. To convince her you’re not cheating, you’ll have to spin the long yarn about shopping for your mom or sister, and unless you make a stunning case for your familial compassion, this battle is already lost.

And if you’re in a lingerie store, asking someone who doesn’t work there to explain the difference between a thong and a g-string, expect to be escorted out by security.