Year: 2006
Developer: Midway Games
Sport: Football
System: Xbox 360
Lowdown: After Midway lost their license to make NFL games, NFL Blitz was dead and gone forever (at least until the NFL let them make it again earlier this year, but without the big, late hits, and thus: the fun). So what'd Midway do? Soldiered on, and make their game more culturally obscene than any video game in existence, on their own terms, without any official players or NFL blessings. For example: The creators behind Blitz: The League got Lawrence Taylor to be their spokesman, and put him in the game as a character named Quintin Sands, captain of the fictitious New York Nightmare. The gameplay? It was basically Blitz, but on steroids. Literally. You could buy steroids for your players. You can also fill your Clash Meter to perform "dirty" moves, leaving your opponent with less stamina or injured (especially glorious: the close-up x-ray shots of snapped bones, torn ligaments, and the like). The campaign/season mode? Not so much a "build your team carefully over the years" mandate as it was a "win at any cost" directive. Your players can earn extra money by gambling on the outcomes of the games they are playing. Or: Participating in bounty programs. [Good thing these aren't issues affecting real sports leagues.] With that money, you can buy upgraded equipment...or drugs. The last line of defense your 'roided-up, tac-vest wearing team has before they get on the gridiron? Send ing prostitutes to the other team (a trick apparently used by Taylor during his time in the NFL) who, powerless to stop their advances, will be too tired from all-night activity to perform well on the field the following day. The game was actually banned in Australia for promoting the beneficial uses of illegal drugs. Blitz: The League rewards users by letting them capitalize on all the things old white writers hate about the NFL these days and any game that should come with a fainting couch in case Mike Lupica is within earshot, is, of course, a no-questions classic.