When paramedics were called to a harbor in Devon, England they expected to find a woman having a seizure, as per the emergency call. However, they found Alison Whelan and her friend aboard a docked ferry, acting violently and belligerently. While paramedics waited for police to arrive on scene, Whelan began untying the ferry and screaming that she was a pirate: "I'm Jack Sparrow," she yelled. (In her defense, it shouldn't have been surprising that a woman who believed she was a pirate would try to steal a ship).

In very un-pirate-like fashion, Whelan couldn't navigate the vessel properly, and crashed into several other boats, causing thousands of British pounds in damages. But one wouldn't expect a drunk woman who is high on nightshade—a poisonous hallucinogenic—to properly handle a ferry. She claimed that, had they not caught her, she would have made it all the way to St. Tropez.

[via The Huffington Post]