For the past few years, one word has instilled rage and sadness into the hearts of cinema purists: remake. Rebooting older films isn’t a new trend, though; it’s been happening for years, but never with as much frequency as seen in recent years. For the most part, modern-day film remakes are soulless cash-grabs that either neuter the original’s excellence or worsen an already problematic flick. To sample such awfulness, check out Friday the 13th (2009), A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), and Prom Night (2008), to name a few.

Horror films aren’t the ones frequently subjected to the cruelty of remakes. This weekend, for example, Total Recall, a re-imagining of director Paul Verhoeven’s beloved 1990 science fiction adventure (based on the late Philip K. Dick’s novel We Can Remember It for You Wholesale), opens in theaters.

Using the Len Wiseman-directed pic’s trailer and commercials as evidence, the new Total Recall looks, for better or worse, like a glossier but far less imaginative rehash. One for which Arnold Schwarzenegger has been replaced by Colin Farrell, who plays Doug Quaid, a nondescript factory worker fighting to preserve his identity after participating in a Rekall experiment that implants fake memories into a person’s brain. Along the way, and with the help of a rogue agent (Jessica Biel), Quaid tries to evade his now-villainous wife (Kate Beckinsale).

Yes, Total Recall 2012 damn near close to Total Recall ’90, though, this time, there’s no Mars setting. At the very least, open-minded sci-fi heads are hoping for an entertaining diversion, which, fortunately, isn’t out of the question. While Hollywood revamps are generally frowned upon, and rightfully so, positive examples do exist. Here, counting down the best of the best, we present 50 Movie Remakes That Don’t Suck.

Written by Matt Barone (@MBarone)

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