Why you think it'll work: Being a stage mom is easier than ever. You can start commanding your kid’s career at birth. Forget acting classes, voice lessons, and auditions, all you need is a flip cam and Wi-Fi. 

Why it won't: See how well your mom handles her Facebook page? You sure you want to hand the keys to your career over to her? Moms, when left to their own devices, can do some crazy shit. Take for example, Matty B.

Matty B seems like a nice kid and, at eight-years-old—I’m sure he pulls wayyyy better than we do. But even for a Caucasian third-grader he’s a pretty bad rapper and, like all little kids that know they’re cute, he’s totally insufferable. Oh, cool, your hat has your name on it? Tell me more.

But this isn’t about Matty B. This is about the group of adults ruthlessly marketing their talentless kid because they wish they were Justin Bieber’s parents. When Matty starts going by “Matt” and realizes what’s going on here, he’s going to punch his mom in the face and there’s not a court in the land that’ll convict him. High school is hard enough when you don’t have falsetto covers of “Boyfriend” on the Internet.