Stop declaring your love for one another on your Facebook walls, like, now. It's not just that nobody cares how much your life changed since boo bear came around, it's also that they have already invented a technology far more befitting of this type of emotionally-exposed communication: a text message.

So next time you go to remind your girlfriend how super HAWT she is, or how you can't wait for dinner and *wink wink* afterwards, save us all the sheer disgust we experience when reading your personal exchange and just send an email or a text instead.

A good barometer if you're gushing too much? If your friends know your pet names for one another.