Every woman goes through a pair of events that they care wayyyyy too much about. First, their 21st birthday. You need how many parties? Second, getting married.

It's a year-long celebration-crisis-celebration-drunk-cry-celebration all leading up the purportedly "happiest day of your life." (That's the patriarchy talking.) Anyone with the misfortune of being close to you has a front row seat to the whole tired act. Between the engagement party, wedding shower, handful of bachelorette parties, the bridesmaids brunch, bridal shower, and rehearsal dinner—everyone's kind of sick of your guys. Seriously.

Your girlfriends feign admiration for the sole purpose of you returning the favor when they spend half a year adoring themselves.