Ah, Smurfettes. We’ve all met at least one or two. You know the type, some insecure broad who feels threatened in the presence of other females, therefore throws shade to all of them and chooses to run with male crews instead. There’s nothing wrong with having mad guy friends, it’s just the bitches who claim to hate other females that irk me. Now, they’re not all like that. Some ladies simply prefer the company of men for good time’s sake and aren’t even seeking attention or sex in return (understandably so, you’re fun creatures), but I’ve known plenty of the other type, too. Whether they’re seeking friendship or fuck buddies, the Smurfette trend is an interesting phenomenon that leaves lots of guys wondering why. Are they looking for male guidance? Is it Daddy issues? Do they just love tons of dick? Most importantly, how can you get your own? I’ll do my best to answers all those questions and more...


As a girl with many male friends, I feel it’s important to establish that most girls who hang with boys aren’t having sex with any of them. You might perceive shit to be that way (wishful thinking, perhaps), but the fact is, a lot of chicks genuinely prefer male company. Speaking on behalf of my gender, I can admit that we’re annoying and bitchy once in a while. Between cattiness, female jealousy, the amount of time it takes for some of us to get ready, and PMS, there are a lot of factors that make us unpleasant at times. Dudes tend to not take themselves as seriously as us, they don’t stab each other in the back as much, and they’re naturally more laid-back. In these cases, the Smurfette is usually a cool, down-ass chick, but it’s the ones who constantly hate on other women that you have to watch out for. The second you see a girl with a male crew and all she’s talking about is how she hates bitches, you can be sure that she’s just an insecure bitch herself. There are plenty of dope broads in this world to chill with. If homegirl doesn’t want to befriend any of them, it’s only because she’s too self-centered to share the spotlight. Which brings me to my next point...


It’s a classic move for any insecure girl: surround yourself with dudes so you’re constantly showered with attention. When her whole entourage is of the opposite sex, it’s only natural that she’ll be the group’s female focal point. Plus, we all know how male/female friendships work. In almost every scenario, there’s a sliver of sexual interest and tension between them. That can make certain women feel pretty damn good to know that a whole crew of homies is lusting after her. If you ask me, that kind of attention can’t hurt, just as long as it’s not excessive. If a woman becomes dependant on male approval or fucks all her friends to feel special, something isn’t right.


There are females who either didn’t have men in their life growing up, or had crappy excuses for men that they attempt to forget about with better replacements afterwards. Some call it Daddy Issues, but I don’t think it should always be seen as such a negative thing. If a girl didn’t have brotherly love or a decent father figure to look up to as a child, why not try to improve her outlook on male relationships later on in life? I know a couple chicks that never met their dad growing up, so as teenagers they always ran with boys to get a feel of what that manly influence was like. Even though there’s nothing necessarily wrong with females like this, beware of the type when it comes to dating and serious relationships. Not only will you constantly feel overshadowed by her crew, but also, a girl needing that much male attention is bound to tire one man out quickly.


Some girls just flat out love getting smashed by tons of dudes. I personally don’t know any women besides porn stars who operate on such a level, but I did hear a story once about a chick that would bang any skateboarder that asked her. They called her the Head Doctor and she’d go down on whatever dude wanted it. That’s not the most becoming behavior, but to each her own I always say. While they may be harder to find, super-open females are definitely out there, I just don’t think they’re worth going after. Aside from being kind of gross and unsanitary, any female who’s that sexually emotionless also has to be mentally mixed up to some extent. But hey, if you’re able to find a chick that’s willing to get down with the whole gang, I won’t blame you for trying to put your bid in.


Like with all situations pertaining to sex and relationships, no two cases are ever the same. Some Smurfettes are just jealous, insecure haters who can’t stand not being the only eye-candy, some are trying to establish a more positive connection with the opposite sex, and others are simply freaks, delighted by the idea of being passed around by a group of dudes. The only way to know for sure is to find one of your own.