In news sure to make you stop acting like a pussy and man up, son, quit crying, you're embarrassing me in front of the other parents so get back out there on the football field and tackle something dammit, being a painter is no way to make a living, scientists have discovered a species of bee that hungers for your tears.
The bee species is Lasioglossum gotham—that doesn't mean anything to anyone except nerds—and they latch on to the eyeball to suck out salty eye sweat, only they are so small you probably won't notice it happening. These bees turned down such delicacies as gruyere cheese, fresh meat, and Ovaltine in favor of the product of your traumatic childhood memories and lost loves. Scientists are now advising everyone to be careful who share your secrets and emotional baggage with, as my dad the bees will stop at nothing to make you cry.
[via Jezebel]
