Dangling from ferris wheels in efforts to get girls to go on a date. Randomly showing up at the doorsteps of attractive strangers. Heart-filled confessions of what could be interpreted by some as involuntary manslaughter. These are things that might result in someone living happily ever after when executed to perfection by Nicholas Sparks' idealistic protagonists, but try them in real life and you're not only likely to scare the object of your affection into hiding, but those nights in Rodanthe will more likely be nights in Rikers.