Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, that time of year when being a drunken lout isn't just encouraged, it's demanded. Because bars—and be sure you're drinking at one of the 50 best Irish pubs in the country—open early on this holy day and folks begin drinking as soon as possible, you need to have a clear plan for what you'll be doing to your body. That is, what you'll be drinking. You want to go all day and all night, right?

Let this be your hour-by-hour guide to drinking on St. Patrick's Day.