7. In Strategically-Placed Airplane Bottles

There are many places on your body where you can hide small bottles of liquor. For instance, flip an airplane bottle upside down and tuck it into your sock, near the natural divot at your ankle. Or hide a few in the folds of your ample belly. All of those are fine; this is best: Stuff some airplane bottles down your pants. Remember, proximity to junk is key. Rarely do security guards pat down the business, even when doing a thorough check. Perfect for sporting events.

King shit.