St. Patrick's Day is upon us. As we all know, this holiday narrowly beats out Cinco de Mayo, Thanksgiving Eve, and that weekend when your boys from college come to town as the biggest drinking day of the year. But bars are so damn expensive. They put food dye in the beer and think they can charge you $15 bucks for a mug of green Bud Light. We might be drunk, sir, but please, fuck yourself. Recession is still in effect.

If your brain makes up for the strength your wallet lacks, use those smarts and conceal alcohol on your person. It's Nature's treasure chest, your body. Whether you're hitting the bar, the parade, your boy's house, or just your favorite gutter, there's no reason to pay bar prices for alcohol. Here are the 10 best ways to hide booze on your body.