6. Broccoli Salad

Rumor has it that the Jolly Green Giant let a single tear fall when Paula unveiled this lethal recipe, a stealth and criminal concoction that she has the gall to call a salad. The single head of broccoli the recipe calls for merely serves as a vehicle for the sea of sugar, cheddar cheese, and bacon that is swimming in the heaping cup of mayonnaise this innocent stalk of broccoli gets smothered in.

Word on the streets is Paula's body rejects green things on principle, so this is how she manages to confuse her mouth into letting it pass: "Bacon detected, move along!"