1. Bill Nicholson's Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding With Butter Rum Sauce

Arteries recoil in fear at the mere reading of this recipe, which calls for 2 dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, a single one of which will set you back 11 grams of fat and 190 calories. So wait, does that mean...? Yes, yes it does. Paula's creation, just by measure of donuts alone, manages to rack up a massive 4,560 calories.

But wait, there's more! Paula tops it all with a can of sweetened condensed milk and butter rum sauce comprised of a whole stick of butter and a box of confectioners' sugar. Also rum, which we assume is to drink away the guilt of unraveling America's best attempts to maintain pants size.

To hell with your cholesterol apprehensions and calorie counts! Paula Deen has bigger plans for you: They include elastic waistbands, floundering self-esteem, and of course, a pill a day to keep the "diabetus" away!