5. A CASSOWARY

The most dangerous bird on the planet pitted against the most dangerous Irishman in the Screen Actor’s Guild, and only one is going to walk out alive. The cassowary might look tame, but when provoked, these ravenous birds have been known to deliver near-fatal kicks and maim people with their razor-sharp claws.

And while we would never want to come face-to-face with one of these creatures ourselves, we can’t help but get giddy over the prospect of Neeson taking on this bird on the big screen. The plot would be simple: Maybe one of these feathered terrors kidnapped his daughter, or killed his wife, or took the last Boston cream donut at Dunkin Donuts, and Neeson is out for revenge. Either way, Hollywood needs to get on this potential blockbuster quickly.