9. Newt Gingrich, on child labor

Sick of hearing kids whining about their allowance? Have an 8-year-old brother hustling pudding cups due to lack of cash flow? Newt Gingrich has a solution for that: Don't be mad—be an underage janitor! Apparently, there's no better way to elevate a child's self-esteem. They'll report to a master janitor and everything! Per Mr. Gingrich:

"It is tragic what we do in the poorest neighborhoods, entrapping children in child laws which are truly stupid. Saying to people you shouldn't go to work before you're 14, 16. You're totally poor, you're in a school that's failing with a teacher that's failing.

I tried for years to have a very simple model. These schools should get rid of unionized janitors, have one master janitor, pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work; they'd have cash; they'd have pride in the schools. They'd begin the process of rising."

Nothing to combat any bitterness you've ever had against your school like scraping other peoples' gum off the bottom of some desks. We think dude may have seen Good Will Hunting one too many times.