7. Jersey Shore
Stars: Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, Paul “Pauly D” DelVecchio, Jennifer “JWoww” Farley, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, Deena Nicole Cortese
It seems that the spell cast by JWoww’s enormous fake breasts has finally worn off, reality TV junkies. At least it has around these parts, though not enough for us to stop watching MTV’s Jersey Shore altogether. But it’ll certainly be difficult to not hate ourselves for assisting in the brain-dead, GTL-obsessed cast’s weekly Nielsen ratings successes after enduring this year’s all-too-familiar fourth season.
Relocating The Situation, Snooki, and the rest of the carelessly slutty and drunkenly moronic twenty-somethings to Italy was all for naught, doing little to differentiate Season Four from any of Jersey Shore’s previous three. Yet again, Sammi and Ronnie bickered, made up, cried, and then made up some more; everyone resented The Situation for his unsubtly antagonistic maneuvers; and Snooki and Deena made liquor-drenched asses out of themselves only to tear up about it every morning after.
In the past, such repetition was at least enjoyably dumb, but Jersey Shore’s latest installments were often gloomy, as if the producers aimed to depict the cast’s issues with a concerned eye, not a joyfully tolerant one. Which, sadly, suggests that MTV’s shotcallers think we’re actually invested in these goons, when the truth is, of course, that we’ve always been thoughtlessly entertained by their buffoonery. Until now.