6. As soon as a girl utters the word "abstinence," you find the nearest exit.

The initial feeling is one of euphoric confidence. After kicking some seemingly weak game and counting yourself out, that supermodel-looking chick on the dancefloor gives you her number—even better, she wants to hang out. A few dates lead to serious feelings, and the time finally comes when the endearingly prudish female lets you reach second base, possibly even third. That euphoric confidence? It’s ratcheted up to horny Ron Jeremy.

But then she drops the megaton bomb: She’s saving herself for marriage, either due to strict religious beliefs or a born-again approach to curbing past promiscuity (like Paula Patton’s character in the 2011 rom-com Jumping The Broom). The underlying message of her news sinks in—the only way you’re ever going to “get it in” is if you wait X-amount of extended time and then put an expensive ring on her finger; meaning, absolutely no sex any time soon.

The fact that you were in your car and angrily driving home before she could even explain the reasoning behind her abstinence clause proves that romance, courtship, and personal connections are the last things on your filthy mind.