7. Your noodle goes all limp once you start to catch feelings for a girl.

Even though they couldn’t be any more different tonally, Shame and the 2008 Chuck Palahniuk adaptation Choke share two identical traits: Each is about a male sex addict, and each makes a big point of the character’s inability to get it up while hooking up with a woman he actually cares about. In Shame, specifically, Brandon’s (Michael Fassbender) inept bedroom performance with a co-worker he’s oddly connecting with is a moment of emotional torment; in Choke, which stars Sam Rockwell and Boardwalk Empire’s Kelly MacDonald (seen above), the protagonist’s limpness is played slightly more comically.

No matter how you look at it, though, impotency caused by romantic feelings is tragic. The root of the problem: When you have feelings for the girl naked alongside you, you’re no longer the dominant one—you’ve lost control. Sex is no longer a carnal, meaningless act of in-out, thank you ma’am; it’s the ultimate sign of affection, and the incapability to handle that hints at far bigger issues than just flaccidity.