Spring comes fast. Start dropping these jewels in mid-February, and you'll be free by the Final Four.

"Sorry I didn't get you a Velentine's Day gift. At least you won't have to worry about that next year."

"I saw some shoes I was going to buy for you, but I didn't think they'd fit around your cankles."

"I was gonna have some of my buddies over to watch porn tonight. You gonna stick around, or...?"

"I'm thinking about starting a voyeur website. Is you D?"

"I'm off to the clinic...going to Rio in April, need to know what I go with and what I leave with."

"Have you ever considered vaginal rejuvenation?"

"Won't it be nice to not have to live out of your duffel bag anymore?"

"You look a little stir-crazy—you could use a long walk. Let me know how that goes."