10. A single season of ranked Halo: Reach matchmaking

It's unlikely the doomed couple ever sat down to a few games of highly competitive Halo: Reach matchmaking, but if they had, their marriage wouldn't have even lasted as long as a single season in Reach's Arena playlist. The Arena gives players a ranking once they've played a certain number of games over a certain number of days in a specific season–and a single season lasts 90 days. 

They couldn't have even played long enough to get placed in a division, which is a shame, since we hear Reach actually makes for some pretty decent couples therapy. Not that couples therapy could have salvaged a relationship that was only slightly more believable than a sexual liaison between Master Chief and The Arbiter.