Fast Food Chains That NYC Needs ASAP

If you build it, they will come.

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Sonic

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Sonic

Website: sonicdrivein.com
Closest Location: 2819 Kennedy Blvd, North Bergen, N.J.

Sonic is one of the fast food chains we see commercials for but never actually see. We watch with adoring eyes as a car full of happy people pulls into a parking spot with its own devoted menu and private speaker. The family's eyes (and our own) scroll down a long list of desirable items: chili-cheese covered tots, the venerable corndog, and mysterious neon-colored drinks like blue coconut slush and cherry limeade. And then... a smiling employee rollerskates up to the car with the goods! Of course, this is entirely improbable in NYC's square footage-challenged landscape, but we don't care! We want that purple stuff!

Freebirds

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Freebirds

Website: freebirds.com
Closest Location: 2700 West University, Denton, Texas

 With most of its burrito-glory confined to Texas, it's no surprise if you haven't stepped foot into one of these tortilla shrines. Though their oversized burrito offerings look suspiciously similar to Chipotle, the two are very distinct enterprises. Or, as a devoted friend so aptly put it: "Freebirds is Technicolor 3-D to Chipotle's black-and-white silent movie. The two products are barely even comparable in a meaningful way."

Freebirds proteins are hormone-free, grass-fed, and free-range and more blah blah blah. But the real draw here is that almost everything on the menu is freshly made, and that their nachos, tacos, and burritos come with a choice of over three dozen free toppings. Also, did we mention the Super Monster burrito that weighs almost seven pounds? Did we mention the pot brownie? No, it's not laced with the sticky-icky, it's served in a black pot, but we'll give them points for cleverness.

Panera Bread

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Panera Bread

Website: panerabread.com
Closest Location: 7325 Woodhaven Blvd., Glendale, N.Y.

Panera is a soup, sandwich, and salad spot, and we have no shortage of those in this city, do we? But Panera's allure is in the finely-crafted carbohydrates and the endless combinations their "You Pick Two" option offers. A Fuji Apple Chicken salad and an Asiago Roast Beef sandwich, and choice of a bread or fruit? The possibilities are overwhelming! Plus, it's packaged all pretty and stuff, which is more than we can say for our bodega's offerings.

Also: Così sucks. Fact.

Jack In the Box

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Jack in the Box 

Website: jackinthebox.com
Closest Location: 7000 Wt Harris Blvd, Charlotte, N.C.

Jack in the Box can be found in 19 states, with a massive 927 restaurants in California alone, but there are zero locations in the Northeast. The sting of being so thoroughly snubbed might not hurt so much was it not for Jack's saliva-inspiring menu: steak and egg breakfast burritos (which, like all of their breakfast items, can be ordered all day), turkey and bacon grilled cheddar sandwiches, and a serious dessert menu that inclues churros and a pumpkin pie milkshakes. Not even Jack in the Box's creepy, Saw-esque mascot could turn us away from fare like that. 

cracker barrel

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Cracker Barrel

Website: crackerbarrel.com
Closest Location: 172 Howard Blvd., Mt. Arlington, N.J. 

Cracker Barrel has the kitschy marketing scheme down pat. It faux-rustic image is anchored by rocking chairs, a general store stocked with retro candy, and those games with the golf tees on each table. Gimmicks aside, the Barrel serves breakfast items, like the ever-popular chicken fried steak, all day long, in addition to some serious home-style eats, like country sausage and biscuits with gravy, and homemade chicken and dumplings. Think of it as chain comfort food.

Bojangles

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Bojangles' Famous Chicken 'n Biscuits

Website: bojangles.com
Closest Location: 3215 North 5th Street Highway, Reading, Pa.

Bonjangles' sweet tea alone elicits praise, but their fried chicken is worthy of worship. KFC and Popeye's got nothing on Bojangles and here's why: freshly breaded, never frozen bird with a Southern flair. The Cajun chicken has a generous coating of cayenne pepper, their mashed potatoes have a sausage gravy, and just talking about their dirty rice makes us want to take an improptu roadtrip to the deep South. Rumor has it there was a Bojangles in Chelsea 15 years ago, but there's no Bo' to go to now. What gives?

Waffle House

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Waffle House

Website: wafflehouse.com
Closest Location: 
2101 Cherry Ln., Bethlehem, Pa.

Among the many clusters of chains that revere the burger, Waffle House stands out in its singular devotion to the waffle. But it is not the food item of its namesake that has us desperately uttering its name in our sleep, it's the hash browns. Imagine 24 hour access to charred shards of potato that have met their death via hours of grilling, waiting to be consumed during one of your drunken culinary indiscretions. There are eight unique routes to take: smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppers, capped, topped, or country. And then there are four portion options: regular, large, triple and "all the way" sizes. What is this, a secret unit of measurement? If Waffle House keeps holding out on NYC, we may never know.

Dairy Queen

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Dairy Queen

Website: dairyqueen.com
Closest Location: 
513 Westside Ave., Jersey City, N.J.

Let's be real, Dairy Queen is the only legitimate excuse you will ever have to go to New Jersey. But why bother with that damn turnpike? We deserve a DQ in NYC. We work hard in this city and we deserve frozen treats to reward ourselves with, like the often imitated (but never duplicated) Blizzard: soft serve ice cream with a needlessly awesome amount of toppings whipped in to make impossibly delicious combos like Cherry Cheesequake and Banana Cream Pie. But the Arctic Rush, a rare blend of fruit flavored slush and ice cream, is out go-to indulgence. Cool and creamy, this is the stuff of a dairy lover's dreams.

Chick-Fil-A

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Chick-fil-A

Website: chick-fil-a.com
Closest Location: 
434 Woodbridge Ctr., Woodbridge, N.J.

Yes, we know NYU's food court contains a Chick-fil-A, but it does not count as a legitmate Chick-fil-A experience, mainly because the beautiful chicken-filled biscuits, having been cooked hours earlier,   are subject to heat lamp torture, making the normally moist chicken bone dry. Suffice to say, a real Chick-fil-A would not subject us to such tragic results. An added bonus: almost every item on the menu is under 500 calories, making for some guilt-free fried chicken indudging. And you thought it was impossible!

In-N-Out Burger

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In-N-Out Burger 

Website: in-n-out.com
Closest Location: 
190 East Stacy Rd., Allen, Texas

We're infatuated with Shake Shack burgers as much as the next New Yorker, but if an In-N-Out burger were to land in Gotham, we'd cheat on Shake Shack faster than an entitled athlete. In-N-Out has basic burger fare—burgers, fries and shakes—but it does it right with real-deal beef and made to order burgers. If you're feeling particularly carnivorous, you can even go "animal style," a "secret menu" option that will land you with a mustard-cooked burger smothered in their signature sauce, with onions and extra pickles. The only bad news? The chances of New Yorkers getting their hands on In-N-Out's famed burgers are pretty slim—this burger joint is actually one of the few chains that is not franchised; it's still privately owned. Our advice? Fervent prayer to the burger gods! Maybe ample begging and the salty tears of thousands of In-N-Out devotees will entice them to take pity on East Coasters.

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