Procedure: Joining three people together by stitching them from ass to mouth

Tom Six, the writer and director of last year’s hot-topic The Human Centipede (First Sequence), tried his best to ensure that his vile little horror flick would be taken seriously. Well, seriously enough—it’s hard to award credence to a movie in which a guy defecates into a girl’s mouth. The filmmaker’s plan was to map out all of deranged former surgeon Dr. Heiter’s (Dieter Laser) medical tactics for the audience, through the character’s own words and actions.

Using a large erase board, Heiter shows his three young victims a diagram illustrating exactly how he’d join them together in a butt-to-gums formation; basically, he’d cut their kneecaps (to make permanently walking on knees that much more possible) and stitch the back two sucker’s mouths to the derriere in front of them.

Which he does, though Six displays minor restraint and doesn’t show all of Heiter’s surgical action (Six saved all of the disgusting nitty-gritty for the just released sequel). Yet the after-shock of seeing a moving, hazardously functioning “human centipede” is quite shocking in its own right. Would such a procedure actually work? Mr. Six seems to think so, having given his nasty film the tagline of, “100% Medically Accurate.” We’ll gladly just take his word for it.