Looking for a new way to cop feels? Pretend to be a doctor and offer free, door-to-door breast exams, and you’re sure to have success. Or at least it worked for 81-year-old Phillip Winikoff back in 2006 when he decided to offer free examinations to women in a Coconut Beach, Florida apartment complex. Who said the days of the house call were over?

To validate his status as a doctor, Winikoff sported a black doctor’s bag. Amazingly, two women actually agreed to let him “examine” them, and it took his hands wandering “elsewhere” for the first victim to realize Winikoff probably wasn’t a doctor. By the time she called the cops, he had already made his way to victim #2.

Winikoff was arrested and charged with sexual battery, using the title of doctor without a license, and various other felonies. He was looking at a lot of time if convicted, but managed to strike a deal with prosecutors. No word on whether or not the deal will keep him out of jail, but this is a valuable lesson to all women: never trust an old man offering free door-to-door breast exams. Even if he does have a black doctor’s bag.

[via The Orlando Sentinel]